Ascent
by Darkfaery64
Summary: Lore redemption story that takes place after his death in "Descent".


"Ascent"

**"Ascent"**  
by Christina Teresa

****

Introduction

"Ascent", my first Lore redemption story, is based on "Descent, Part II" in which Lore is killed by his twin bother, Data. In "Descent", Lore had become leader of a pack of renegade Borg after they were 'contaminated' by the Borg, Hugh, in "I, Borg". Please check out my other Lore redemption story, "Love and Lobsters", also available on Fanfiction.net. "Ascent" is just for fun and is not intended to infringe upon any copyrights owned by Paramount Television. Original story and characters, © Christina Teresa, 2001. This story first appeared on The Alt Star Trek Creative Newsgroup. Comments are encouraged and appreciated: [csteresa@yahoo.com][1].

*

Data fired.

The force of the blast caused Lore to twist around and fall forward over the chair like a rag doll. He tried to move, but couldn't. Every system in his brain and body was overloading.

He heard Data come toward him. Lore tried to turn his head to face his brother, but he couldn't even blink.

"Lore, I must deactivate you now." Data opened a panel in the back of his head.

__

NO! How can you do this? We're brothers! Lore knew he could no longer appeal to Data's sense of family, but maybe he could still reach him. His speech processors were beginning to fail, but he managed to utter a few words. "Without me, you will never feel emotions again."

"I know, but you leave me no other choice." 

Lore attempted a sad smile, but his features would hardly budge. "I...love you...brother." 

"Good-bye, Lore."

Everything went black.

*

It took Lore a few moments to realize he was still conscious. The paralyzed feeling he had before was gone too. _My internal systems must have corrected the overload._ He stood up and faced his brother. "I knew you wouldn't do it, Data." 

Data did not seem to hear him. He was looking down at something. Lore looked down as well and saw the impossible- his own, lifeless body draped over the chair. 

Lore shuddered. "This isn't happening." He turned back to his brother, "Data, tell me this isn't happening!"

Data did not acknowledge him, but turned and walked away.

Lore followed his brother and desperately tried to get his attention. "Data, answer me!" He grabbed Data by the shoulder, but his hand went right through him. Lore stopped and stared at his hand, terror clearly written on his face. 

He ran to catch up with Data as he re-entered the Borg Hall and approached Picard.

"Lore is no longer functioning, sir," he said, "He must be disassembled so he is no longer a threat."

Lore laughed nervously. "No longer functioning? But...I'm right here. I'm fine, can't you see that? I'm fine!"

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Lore turned to see his lieutenant, Crosis. _But how can that be? Crosis is dead._

The Borg smiled. "Come along, they are waiting for us." Crosis motioned for Lore to follow him to an incredibly bright light that the android had not noticed before. Several other Borg killed in the fight were walking towards it as well. 

"Who's waiting for us?" Lore shouted after him, "Crosis, I order you to come back here!"

A moment later, the Borg were consumed by the brilliance.

Determined to get to the bottom of this, Lore approached the light. It was so bright that he had to shield his eyes. He was almost on top of it before he noticed an old man and woman blocking his way. They appeared human, but were dressed in ancient Earth clothing. The old man was holding a long, wooden staff with a large crystal on top. The most striking things about the couple were their regal bearing and their piercing blue eyes.

"You may not pass," said the old woman.

Lore looked around him and noticed that he was no longer in the Borg Hall, but surrounded by a thick mist. He sneered as he tried to push the woman aside. "Get out of my way, old hag."

The old man pointed his crystal staff at the android. A bolt of energy was discharged that sent Lore flying backwards. "Have respect for your elders, boy!"

The old woman glowered at him. "The only things that one respects is hatred and violence."

Lore shook with rage at their lack of respect for him, The One. "Who are you and where have you taken my followers?"

"I am Macha, Goddess of Death," said the old woman, "and this is my husband, Myrddin, God of Wisdom."

"We are the Gatekeepers of the Summerland," Myrddin continued, "where the wounded are healed and the dead rest. Your followers, as you call them, are in desperate need of our hospitality."

"This is some kind of a trick, isn't it? A holographic projection," Lore laughed, "Death and Wisdom, my a--"

Myrddin smiled dangerously. "Careful boy, I do not think you realize who you are dealing with."

"_Boy?_" Lore shouted, "I don't think you realize who I am!"

"Oh, we know all about you," Macha replied, "you are Lore, the first ensouled android."

"That was my idea actually," Myrddin admitted, "since the beginning of Time, I have been fascinated by technology. I found your father's work particularly interesting, but I felt that in order for you to be truly sentient, you needed a soul."

Lore stared at him in disbelief. "_You _gave me a soul?" 

The old man nodded and sighed. "The results were disappointing, to say the least. You would have been the last truly sentient android as well, but we decided to try again." Myrddin turned to his wife and smiled proudly. "Data has turned out nicely, hasn't he, my love?" 

"Indeed he has, my dear," Macha shot Lore a disapproving look, "despite his temporary lapse of virtue, but we shan't hold that against him."

Their strange words, as well as their identities, were starting to sink into Lore's positronic brain. He was in the presence of beings far more powerful than even The One. _Death and Wisdom!_

Macha nodded as if she had heard his thoughts. "You have kept me very busy in the short time you have been activated, Lore. Rarely have I encountered a soul with so little regard for Life. It is unfortunate that you never heard, let alone heeded, my husband's counsel. It will cost you dearly."

Lore was frightened by her words, but tried to hide it. "What do you mean by that, old woman?"

She scowled. "I mean, _android_, that your soul is doomed to wander the universe alone, to walk among the living and witness what you cannot share, but might have shared in life."

"No! This isn't fair, the Borg will be lost without me!"

"You mean, you will be lost without them," she countered, "you used the Borg for your own selfish purposes. They are well rid of you." 

"Please! I can prove myself worthy to you if you'd just give me another chance!"

Macha laughed darkly. "That is what you said to your father right before you stole the microchip and threw him across the room. The game is over, Lore, and you have lost."

"My love, perhaps we should give the boy one more chance," the old man said.

"Myrddin," Macha snapped, "this creature is hopeless. He feels not one ounce of remorse or regret for his crimes. He does not deserve another chance."

"That is true, but perhaps with my counsel-"

"You have given him your counsel and he has ignored it all of his life," said Macha, "besides, he can only learn compassion from his fellow mortals. It is not your task to teach him."

Lore listened to their bickering hopefully. "Please, I'll do anything you ask of me." He lowered his head. "I know I am unworthy of your mercy, but surely, beings as great and powerful as yourselves can afford to be magnanimous."

Macha shook her head in disgust. "You see, Myrddin, first this creature threatens us, now he tries to win us over with insincere flattery. Why do you want to grant clemency to this wretch?"

Myrddin regarded Lore in a way that reminded the android of his creator. "If it were not for me, he would not be here now. Surely, there are extenuating circumstances in his case. We must also consider the wishes of his advocates in the Summerland."

"I know of only one advocate," said Macha, "and his father's wishes are not enough."

"My father is here?" Lore asked.

"Yes," said the old woman, "and for some reason, he wants you by his side, but he has always had a blind spot where you are concerned. That is why his desire alone will not change my mind."

"There is another advocate, my love," Myrddin said.

Macha looked into Myrddin's eyes and smiled. Lore assumed they were communicating telepathically. He was tempted to demand they let him in on their silent conversation, but he held his tongue. _Who could this other advocate be?_

"This is an interesting turn of events." Macha turned to face Lore. "Very well, I will give you one more chance. You must return to the temporal plane and learn compassion. You must experience the pain you have caused others." 

"If no one can see or hear me, how am I supposed to accomplish this?" Lore asked. 

"There will be those who will be sensitive to your presence," said Macha, "convincing them to assist you is another matter. I suggest a large dose of humility."

Before he could reply, Lore found himself in the Cybernetics lab on the Enterprise.

*

Lore's body was laid out on one of the lab's work tables. Two technicians ran scanners over it, occasionally poking and prodding the lifeless form. After a while, Data came in. Lore shot his brother an evil look that, of course, went unnoticed.

"Mr. Ramirez, were you able to remove the chip?" Data asked one of the technicians.

"I should have known that's what you were here for," Lore said, "Well, dear brother, the chip's damaged beyond repair. At least one good thing came out of you murdering me."

The other technician handed Data a small box. "Here you go sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Grant. You may dismantle him now." Data turned and left without a last glance at his brother's body.

"I hope your servos stick!" the disembodied android yelled after him.

Lore watched in horror as the technicians subjected his beautiful android form to the most unspeakable indignities. First, they stripped him naked, then they removed his head.

"Stop it!" Lore tried to pull one of them away, but his hands went right through him.

Ramirez stopped and shivered. "Is it me, or is there a cold draft in here?"

"So, that's what I've been reduced to, a cold draft?!"

Grant glanced up from his work. "What's the matter, forgot to put your underwear on this morning?"

Ramirez smirked. "Very funny. It must be that thing," he pointed at Lore's head, "gives me the creeps."

Grant nodded. "You and me both. Let's just get this over with so we can go have a nice, relaxing drink in Ten-Forward."

Lore fumed. "It gives _you_ the creeps?! It's _my_ head that's been ripped off!"

Unable to look away, Lore endured the sight of his limbs and torso being taken apart. He never thought it possible for an android to become nauseous until now.

When they were finished, they gathered up the android parts, put them in a storage cabinet, and locked it securely.

"What do you think they'll do with it?" asked Ramirez.

Grant shrugged. "Who knows? I'm sure Starfleet Research would love to get their hands on it for dissection."

Lore's eyes grew wide with fear at those words, then narrowed in anger. He looked upward to address the Gods. "This is supposed to make me feel compassion for Humanity?! Well, I hate to break it to you, but I'm feeling quite hostile toward Humanity at the moment!"

He heard Myrddin's voice inside his head. "Lore, that body is merely a shell. What you are now is your essence, not that. You must let it go."

The two technicians left the lab

"Follow them Lore," ordered Myrddin, "it is time to begin your quest."

*

Lore did as he was told and followed the two men to the place called Ten-Forward, which turned out to be the ship's lounge.

"Oh, isn't this sweet," he sneered, "humans in their natural habitat."

Lore walked up to the bar and regarded the dark-skinned woman behind it. She was making some kind of multicolored concoction for one of the patrons. Lore couldn't help but notice the outrageous headpiece she was wearing. He laughed. "Is that a hat or a shuttlecraft landing pad?"

The woman stopped and glared at him for a nanosecond, then went back to her creation.

He blinked twice. "You heard that. You can see me, can't you?"

The woman ignored him.

Lore snorted. "Just as well," he said, "what possible help could a bartender be?"

*

Macha put her hand over her husband's mouth as he was about to speak. "You cannot do it for him, Myrddin," she scolded, "he must do this on his own."

*

Lore left Ten-Forward and roamed the corridors of the Enterprise. He found that he could not only pass through solid objects, but could glide through the air as well. Every so often, a passing crew member would do a double-take in Lore's direction, but would immediately dismiss the android apparition as an hallucination. 

He grew bored of this ghostly activity quickly. _Now what? I can't spend eternity being a figment of someone's imagination. The old witch said there would be those here who would be sensitive to my presence, so who on this Ship of Fools would be the most likely person to contact? _

There was only one answer to that question: the half-Betazoid, Deanna Troi.

His consciousness still contained the memories of his time aboard the Enterprise almost six years ago, including the location of Troi's office and quarters. Since it was still the day shift, he decided to try the former.

He passed through her office door and smiled broadly. The lovely Counselor was alone, sitting on the couch, reading a computer padd. 

"Hello, Deanna."

Troi snapped her head up and let out a cry of shock. "Lore?!"

"Surprise! Bet you never thought you'd see me again."

She jumped up and tapped her commbadge. "Counselor Troi to Security, send a team to my office immediately!"

Lore shook his head. "That isn't necessary, I'm not going to hurt you. I couldn't even if I wanted to." He demonstrated by passing his hand through a statue on a small table. "I'm a ghost of my former self."

Troi stared, speechless for a moment. "What are you doing here?"

Lore sighed. "It's a long story, but I'll start by saying that I need your help."

Just then, a Security team burst into the room. "Counselor," the team leader panted, "we got here as fast as we could. What's the problem?"

It was obvious from the question that the guards could not see Lore, but to drive the point home, the dead android waved his hand in front of their faces. "Please hear me out before you call the cavalry into this," he pleaded, "I can just imagine what kind of defensive measures Starfleet Security must have against unwanted spirits."

"Counselor Troi, are you alright?"

Deanna forced an embarrassed smile. "I am so sorry, Mr. Adams. I thought I sensed something, but I think it was my imagination. Please send my apologies to Lieutenant Worf." 

She quickly ushered the confused guards out of the room and turned her attention back to Lore. "This had better be good."

*

Troi laughed. 

"I'm glad you find my predicament so entertaining, Counselor." 

She tried, unsuccessfully, to contain her amusement. "It's comforting to know that there is some justice in the universe, though I think they're being far too lenient. What ever happened to good, old-fashioned Hellfire?"

"Please don't give them any ideas." Lore sat down across from her. "So, will you help me?"

Deanna shook her head. "I don't think so. I'm not that good of a therapist, no one is. And even if I were, it would take years for you to fully understand the consequences of your actions."

"I don't have any plans for the next millennium."

She laughed again. "You are unbelievable! This ship and it's crew are my first priority, not the fate of your immortal soul."

Lore was silent for a moment. He seemed to be listening to something...or someone. "A week?!" he said to the ceiling, then he addressed Troi, "Myrddin asked me to ask you, _humbly_, if you would please give me a week of your time. If after that, I don't show any improvement, I'll be banned from the Enterprise forever."

Deanna considered it. She could sense Lore was telling the truth about this, as well as the rest of his story. A Higher Power had never asked her for a favor before and she felt it would be bad manners to refuse. "All right, I suppose I can stand you for a week, though I doubt it will do much good." She picked up the padd and checked her schedule. "Come back at 19:00 hours and we'll begin."

"I think we should start now."

"I think you shouldn't press your luck."

*

Deanna hardly ate a bite of dinner that evening, she was so preoccupied with her upcoming session with Lore._ What did I do to deserve this? More to the point, why did I agree to do it? _

She had no idea what approach to take. How could she bring him to the point of empathizing with his victims in a week's time? She knew it couldn't be done, but she felt she had to try her best. She scolded herself for caring, but it was imbedded in her nature; he was, after all, her patient. 

At exactly 19:00 hours, Lore passed through her office door.

__

Well, at least he's punctual.

*

"There's nothing to tell, Counselor. The colonists were against me from the beginning because I was so obviously superior to them. They became envious of me and demanded Dr. Soong dismantle me."

"That's what you told the Enterprise crew when you were reassembled," said Deanna, "but I suspect there's a little more to it than that. The colonists weren't really envious of you, were they?" 

Lore began to pace the floor. "I don't see how rehashing the past is going to help me. Why don't you just tell me how I should feel and I'll do it without all this talking and exploring of emotions. This is taking too long."

Deanna sighed. "Lore, I can't tell you how you're supposed to feel, you know that. You must come to those realizations yourself. All I can do is guide you by talking, exploring, and rehashing the past. I think the real reason you don't want to is because the memories are painful for you. I can sense your discomfort."

Lore stopped pacing and scowled, silently cursing her empathic abilities. 

Deanna smiled back. "Just doing my job."

Lore sat down on the couch next to her, hoping to increase her discomfort, but she didn't appear bothered by his proximity. _Why should she be? I'm a ghost._ "Alright Counselor, I'll tell you what really happened on Omicron Theta, but you'll see that I was well within my rights to destroy them."

"Perhaps by discussing this, you'll be able to see things from another perspective," she said, "Let's start with your first experience with the colonists."

He chuckled at Troi's naiveté. "My father invited the colony's top scientists, if you could call them that, to the official unveiling of his life's work. He made me perform for them. 'Lore, bend this titanium pipe. Lore, explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity.' Lore, do this. Lore, do that. I felt like a circus dog jumping through a hoop. And then came the questions. 'Is it obedient?' 'Does it have a pleasure program?' and my favorite, 'It doesn't _really _have feelings, does it?'"

Deanna winced visibly at that.

"After this show-and-tell, the woman who asked about my recreational programming pulled me aside and requested a private demonstration of my abilities."

"Did you give her one?"

"Yes, I had sex with her and several of the other female colonists."

"Why would you do that, when it was obvious that she thought of you as some kind of highly sophisticated plaything?" she asked.

He shrugged. "I was curious. Besides, I enjoyed the feeling of power and conquest when they gave up control of their bodies to me."

"You felt no love or even attraction for these women?"

He shook his head. "The only thing I felt for them was contempt."

"I can see why their treatment of you would make you resentful," Troi said after a moment, "but is it right to punish over four hundred people for the actions of a few insensitive colonists?"

"It wasn't just a few colonists," he said, "they all treated me with disrespect, including their brats."

"What did the children do that was so bad?" she asked.

Lore turned away from her. "They made up a stupid nickname for me."

"Well, what was it?"

"Promise not to laugh?"

Deanna nodded.

"'Frankensoong's Monster'."

She stifled a giggle.

He shot her an nasty look. "Tell me, Counselor, just how many of your patients do you drive to suicide every week?"

"I'm sorry, Lore, that wasn't very professional of me." She cleared her throat and regained her solemn composure. "From what you've told me, it doesn't sound like they were envious of you. Maybe they treated you like that because they were afraid of you."

"They treated me as their inferior to hide their jealousy of me," Lore insisted, "they denied my perfection even when I demonstrated my superior abilities."

"It's true that people often mask painful emotions to hide them from themselves, as well as others," Deanna replied, "but I sense that you're the one masking your own feelings of inferiority by insisting you're perfect." 

Lore glared at her, too furious to even speak.

She smiled sweetly. "I think that's enough for tonight. Same time tomorrow?" 

*

Deanna, are you alright?"

She turned and smiled at a concerned Commander Riker. "I'm fine, Will, I was just thinking."

The day watch was uneventful, so the bridge crew occupied themselves with their favorite pastime, spreading ship's gossip. Deanna never spread rumors herself, but she was always an interested listener. Today was the exception. She was too busy going over the events of last evening and convincing herself that she didn't imagine the whole thing.

Riker smiled. "Well, you're missing the most interesting bit of news we've had in a while."

She tried to look intrigued.

"It seems," he paused for effect, "the Enterprise is haunted."

Deanna burst out in hysterical laughter causing every head to turn toward her. "Oh, Will, don't you know there are no such things as ghosts!"

*

"Lore, I've sensed over the past few days that you harbor a great deal of anger and resentment toward your father."

The android gawked at Troi in feigned surprised. "That is brilliant, Counselor! I feel so fortunate to have your empathic insights. What would I do without you?" 

Deanna grinned. "Pardon me for stating the obvious, but I also sense that underneath your anger lies some real affection for him as well. I'd like to see if we can bring some of those feelings to the surface."

"I think you're imagining things," he said.

"You'd better hope I'm not imagining things, or you're going to be stuck in the temporal plane forever," she reminded him, "wasn't any part of your relationship with your father positive?"

"I suppose, at first, it was alright because he was so happy to have finally reached his goal. He called me his son and I was foolish enough to believe he actually thought of me that way. That all changed when he introduced me to the colonists. Suddenly, I became his 'life's work'. Any time one of the humans accused me of some offense, my father, in turn, accused me of trying to destroy his achievement. He blamed me when I wasn't...functioning properly."

Deanna smiled sympathetically. "I know how difficult this is for you to talk about."

Lore paused and looked down at his hands. "I think the real reason why my father turned against me was because of Juliana."

"Who's that?" she asked.

"My father's wife," he replied disdainfully.

Deanna looked surprised. "Lore, you never mentioned you had a mother."

"I never really thought of her as my mother," he sneered, "I'd prefer to remember Juliana Soong as Omicron Theta's answer to Lady Macbeth."

"I take it your relationship with her was not good," said Troi.

"She hated me from the beginning. She poisoned my father's mind against me." Lore rose from the couch and began to pace the floor angrily. "The other colonists petitioned him to dismantle me, but it was Juliana's insistence that finally convinced him to do it. She had my father wrapped around her little finger. He was a stupid, old fool."

"So, you decided to punish them before you were dismantled."

Lore nodded. "I could see my fate coming, so I had plenty of time to plot my revenge against them. When I first contacted the Crystalline Entity, it took me a while to learn to communicate with it. The first understandable thing it said to me was that it was hungry. I earned its gratitude by revealing the way to the colonists. The Entity attacked, but the colony was saved from total annihilation by shields I didn't know they had. Before I was dismantled, I figured out how the Entity's energy sweeps could penetrate the colony's defenses by setting up a complex pattern of shield modulation frequencies the Entity could match, but would be undetectable by the humans."

"That's why the colonists had time to build the underground shelter and construct Data," said Troi, "Did Dr. Soong ever discover that you were responsible for bringing the Entity to the colony?" 

"No one had any real proof, but some of the colonists, including Juliana, suspected my involvement. If my father knew, he refused to admit it, but he finally did as they demanded and deactivated me." He paused and looked at Troi with a pained expression on his face. "Right before he turned me off he had the nerve to say, 'I love you'." Lore's anguish quickly turned to rage. "I should've broken his neck for that. The only thing I regret is not killing him then and there."

*

"Is there something wrong with the hot fudge sundae, Counselor?"

Deanna looked up from her untouched dessert. "I'm sure it's fine, Guinan. I'm not very hungry."

"You seem awfully preoccupied, do you want to talk?"

"Counseling the Counselor again, Guinan?"

Ten-Forward's hostess smiled. "I'm not after your job if that's what you're worried about. You just look like you could use a sympathetic ear."

Deanna smiled back. "I was just thinking about my mother and how lucky I am to have her. She drives me crazy sometimes, but she's always been there for me. I know she'd rather see me married with children on Betazed than gallivanting around the universe in a starship, but I have never doubted for a moment that she loves me." She paused as she recalled today's session with Lore. "I don't know what I would have done without her."

*

"Lore, this will be our last session together since we haven't reached our goal and the week is up."

He snorted. "I'm sure you're glad to be rid of me."

"No, actually, I'm not. I sincerely wish I could have helped you."

The android was genuinely surprised. "Really?"

Deanna smiled sadly. "There's an ancient Native American saying, 'You can't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his moccasins'. I think that goes for androids too. I don't condone your actions, but I think I understand your anger. I just wish you could look past it and think of just one person that you regret hurting."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, Counselor," he said, "but there's no one on that colony that I regret hurting."

"I still find it hard to believe that everyone there was cruel to you and not one person showed you the slightest respect or kindness."

"It's the truth. They all deserved exactly what they got."

"Lore, in my experience, 'all or nothing' statements are usually inaccurate."

"This case is the exception to the rule," he insisted, "your Betazoid senses should tell you I'm not lying."

"I didn't say you were lying, though I do think your perceptions might be incorrect. Just try to think of one positive interaction, however small," she pleaded, "the fate of your immortal soul depends on it."

Lore was silent for several minutes. "There was one, insignificant incident with one of the colonists, Dr. Kate Daly."

"Was she one of the women you were intimate with?" asked Troi.

"No," he said quietly.

"I sense disappointment."

Lore shrugged casually. "She was one of the more attractive females on the colony. An encounter with her would have been pleasurable."

"I thought you didn't have sex for pleasure, but for conquest." Deanna smiled. "I sense that you were attracted to this woman."

Lore rolled his eyes. "I knew you'd make more out of this than you should. Just forget it."

"No, please, go on. Tell me about Kate."

"Alright." He sighed heavily. "Dr. Daly was an Agricultural Engineer. She ran a small farm alone with the help of a couple of work robots. She grew her own food and gave away what she couldn't use to the other colonists. Once a week, she would bring my parents fresh eggs. My father always said they were better than replicated ones."

"That's true of most food," Deanna added, "especially chocolate."

Lore paused, a slight smile crossed his face. "She always made a point of saying hello to me and asking me how I was. One time, she came over when my father was making adjustments to my logic controller circuits. A panel in my head was removed and she looked uncomfortable at the sight. At first, I thought it was out of disgust, but then she asked me, 'Does that hurt you?' I said, 'I don't feel pain'. She smiled and said, 'I'm glad to hear that' and left. I told you it was insignificant."

"On the contrary," said Deanna, "I think it's very significant. She was displaying compassion for you. Did you ever have a negative experience with this woman?"

"No," he said, "the only interaction I had with her were those visits I mentioned."

"It looks like we've found our innocent bystander. Based on what you've just told me, do you think Kate deserved to die?"

Lore fidgeted uncomfortably. "Yes. She was human, she was bound to turn against me eventually."

Troi shook her head. "You can't blame her for being human anymore than you can be blamed for being an android. I ask you again, did Kate deserve to die?"

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Lore stood up and headed for the door.

Deanna called after him. "Lore, if you leave now, it's over. You can't come back tomorrow. It's now or never."

He stopped and stood with his back to her trying to form a reply. Lore was afraid to acknowledge the truth. He had spent his whole life justifying his actions to himself. If he were to admit he was wrong in this one instance, all his perceptions might change. _But then, that's the point, isn't it?_

He turned and looked Deanna Troi in the eye. "No, Kate didn't deserve to die. She was nothing but kind to me and I killed her for no good reason."

"How does that make you feel?" she asked gently. 

He closed his eyes and winced in pain, then fell to his knees.

"Lore, what's wrong?"

He opened his mouth, but couldn't answer her. He was suddenly overwhelmed with memories of the past, but not his own. 

"Everyone, please remain calm. We are in the process of strengthening the shields around the shelter. The planet surface has sustained some damage from the Crystal Entity, but be assured the underground shelter will protect us. Again, please remain calm."

__

Liars they know damn well this shelter won't protect us why won't they tell us the truth oh dear god why is this happening I've worked so hard six years of my life and it's all gone how could I have left my animals up there to die alone I should have stayed with them at least it would be over I wouldn't have to endure this waiting all we can do is look at each other I can see it in their eyes the fear I'm feeling they all know they're going to die I can hear it oh god the noise make it stop it's getting louder oh god no it's coming through the rock hail mary full of grace the lord is with thee- 

"Lore, are you all right?"

He opened his eyes and saw Deanna standing over him. "I felt her die," he said, a dazed expression on his face, "Is this what it means to feel compassion?"

Deanna knelt beside him and nodded. 

"Somehow, I thought it would be different. I didn't know it would be so painful." He turned away from Troi and lowered his head. "I feel so...ashamed."

"It will take time for you to work through those feelings, Lore, but you should be proud of yourself too. You've achieved your goal."

He turned back to face her. "Proud?" he said with tears in his eyes, "how can you say that? I murdered her."

"By finally realizing that your actions were wrong, you'll be able to ascend into the Summerland now," said Troi, "perhaps you'll even be able to speak with Kate and the others and make amends."

Lore shook his head vigorously. "No, I could never face them now. Macha was right, I don't deserve another chance." They both rose to their feet. 

"Good-bye and thank you, Deanna," he said, "you've been very kind." 

"Lore, I don't think you should leave just yet," said Troi, "we should talk first."

"There's nothing left to talk about." He smiled sadly. "Have a nice life, Counselor." 

*

Lore roamed the Enterprise corridors for the last time. He didn't care where he went after this, just as long as it was far away from here. This place held too many painful memories for him. He passed by his brother's quarters, but couldn't bear to go in. All Lore could think of was how Data and his friends had given him his life back and he repaid that debt by almost destroying them.

Lore sat down near a bulkhead and started to cry. _This is truly the worst fate of all. To spend eternity thinking of what might have been._

He felt a hand on his shoulder. Lore turned to see the smiling face of a beautiful woman. "Dr. Daly?"

"Call me Kate," she said, "I'm retired."

"What are you doing here?"

She gently brushed the tears from his cheeks. "I've come to take you home, to the Summerland. You've passed the test." 

"But why you?" Lore was confused, but then he remembered something Myrddin had said. "You were the other advocate, weren't you?"

She nodded.

"I don't understand. I don't deserve anyone's sympathy, Kate, least of all yours. I destroyed everything you loved. How can you even stand to look at me?"

Kate gave his shoulder a comforting squeeze. "I forgave you for that a long time ago, but the pain of what happened stayed with me until I felt you in my mind. By experiencing my pain, you healed me. You've earned the rest."

Lore shook his head. "What about the others? They must hate me for what I did. How can I face them?"

"We all have regrets, Lore." She took his hand in hers. "I heard what you said to Counselor Troi about me and I have a confession to make. I was attracted to you too. I wanted to reach out to you, but I was afraid of what the others would say. I've never stopped thinking that if only I had followed my heart, things might have turned out a lot happier for all of us." 

Lore smiled at her gratefully. Just hearing those words eased the pain he was feeling. He reached out a tentative hand and stroked her hair lightly.

She smiled sweetly. "Let's go, your father is waiting for you."

~Finis~

   [1]: mailto:csteresa@yahoo.com



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